Insights

We often say, "They made me feel this way,” but perhaps they didn't.

Perhaps they simply did something, said something, or behaved in a particular way, and we decided what it meant to us.

Someone can ignore you, criticise you, disagree with you, disappoint you, or treat you in a way you don't appreciate. The behaviour is theirs. What you do with it is yours.

Two people can experience exactly the same behaviour and walk away feeling completely different. One feels offended, another feels unaffected. One feels rejected, another simply moves on.

The difference isn't always what happened.

Sometimes, it is the meaning we gave to what happened.

This doesn't mean we should ignore how people treat us or pretend that hurtful behaviour doesn't hurt. It means recognising that we have more influence over our emotional response than we sometimes realise.

People can trigger feelings but they don't necessarily control them.

There is something empowering about understanding that.

Because once you realise that you have a choice in how you interpret what happens around you, you begin to take back responsibility for how you feel.

They control what they do. You decide what it means to you.

Thought-provoking reflections on life, identity and relationships, written in the style of a modern-day Socratic journal and told through poetic paradoxes and emotional honesty.

by Paul Strydom.

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Read, reflect, agree, disagree, or just see things differently.