Insights

Some people do not simply want a favour, they want to be persuaded to accept it.

They may need a ride to the store, the bank, or somewhere else. You know they need help, so you offer. They decline. Yet, beneath that refusal, they may genuinely want you to insist. The first offer is not always the end of the conversation, sometimes it is the beginning of a subtle test.

They may decline because they do not want to appear needy, dependent, or eager to accept help. But when you offer again, and perhaps again, your persistence can become proof that the offer is genuine. Eventually, they accept what they wanted from the beginning.

For some people, the favour itself is only part of the experience. The other part is feeling wanted, considered, and important enough for someone to insist.

The difficulty is that this creates an unusual interpersonal dynamic. One person believes they are respecting a clear “no,” while the other may interpret the lack of persistence as a lack of care.

Perhaps the real question is this: are they refusing the favour, or are they waiting to see how much you really want to give it?

Thought-provoking reflections on life, identity and relationships, written in the style of a modern-day Socratic journal and told through poetic paradoxes and emotional honesty.

by Paul Strydom.

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Read, reflect, agree, disagree, or just see things differently.