Some people do not merely respond to environments where empathy is needed. They actively seek them.

They may move from one emotionally demanding relationship to another, from one troubled colleague to the next, or from one complicated social environment into another. It is not necessarily because they enjoy drama or suffering. It may simply be because these are the environments in which they feel most comfortable, capable, and valuable.

When someone needs understanding, support, reassurance, or guidance, they know exactly who they are. Their empathy has a purpose. Their ability to listen, understand, and help becomes activated, and with it comes a strong sense of usefulness.

The difficulty can arise when they enter an environment where nobody needs saving, mediating, or emotionally supporting. Peaceful, stable relationships can sometimes feel strangely mundane, not because anything is wrong, but because their familiar role has disappeared.

Over time, empathy can become more than a quality. It can become an identity.

The question, then, is whether they are simply drawn to people who need their empathy, or whether they have become so accustomed to being needed that they unconsciously seek environments that require it.

When being empathetic becomes part of your identity, peace can sometimes feel like a place where you no longer know your role.

Thought-provoking reflections on life, identity and relationships, written in the style of a modern-day Socratic journal and told through poetic paradoxes and emotional honesty.

by Paul Strydom.

© Paul Strydom. All rights reserved.

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