Insights

How we rewrite reality to accommodate the person we want others to see.

Human beings are remarkably skilled at telling stories in which we emerge as the hero, the victim, or the person who had no other choice.

When recounting events, we often select the details that support our perspective, emphasise the actions of others, and omit the parts that might challenge our self-image. Our mistakes become reactions, our poor decisions become someone else’s fault, and our intentions receive more attention than the impact of our behaviour.

Psychologically, this can stem from self-serving bias, motivated reasoning, and our desire to maintain a positive view of ourselves. Often, the process is unconscious. We may genuinely believe the version of events we have constructed.

Sincerity does not guarantee accuracy, and a story repeated often enough can begin to feel like objective truth.

This does not mean every victim is mistaken or every self-serving account is dishonest. It means we should distinguish between what happened, how someone interpreted it, and how they choose to present it.

We must learn to recognise not only how others narrate their stories, but also how we edit our own to protect the person we believe ourselves to be.

Thought-provoking reflections on life, identity and relationships, written in the style of a modern-day Socratic journal and told through poetic paradoxes and emotional honesty.

by Paul Strydom.

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Read, reflect, agree, disagree, or just see things differently.