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Some parents believe that treating a child like an adult will make them mature faster. They involve them in adult conversations, expect adult reasoning, give them responsibilities beyond their years, and sometimes forget that maturity cannot simply be assigned.

Then the child makes a mistake. Suddenly, the adult expectations disappear. They are punished, spoken to, and controlled as a child and this can create a confusing message.

“You expect me to think like an adult, but you treat me like a child when I behave like one.”

The problem is not that children are treated as children. They are children. The problem is the inconsistency of the expectations. A pre-adolescent child can be intelligent, articulate, responsible, and capable of understanding complex situations without possessing the emotional development of an adult.

Giving a child responsibility can help develop maturity. Expecting them to already possess adult emotional regulation can create something very different.

Perhaps children need age-appropriate responsibility, not premature adulthood.

They need to understand consequences, but they also need the safety of knowing that they are still developing because when we expect adult behaviour from a child, yet reserve childhood consequences for them, we risk creating a confusing psychological message.

Maybe the healthiest message is simpler: “You are growing up, but you do not have to grow up before your time.”

Let children be children.