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There is a kind of usefulness that comes from being needed by someone who cannot manage the basics of life without you. You step in, you solve the problem, you organise what they cannot organise, you carry what they cannot carry, and for a moment, you feel valuable.

But perhaps the uncomfortable question is, valuable because of what?

Sometimes, our sense of usefulness is not created by our own capability, but by someone else's inability. Their dependence gives us a role. Their shortcomings give us purpose. Their inability to cope reinforces our belief that we are capable, competent, and necessary.

And that can become a dangerous source of identity.

Because if they suddenly became independent, capable, and self-sufficient, what happens to the person who was always there to rescue them?

There is a difference between helping someone because they genuinely need assistance and needing someone to remain incapable so that we can continue feeling needed.

Perhaps real usefulness is not measured by how much we can do for someone, but by how much we can help them eventually do for themselves.