There is a strange relationship between confidence and arrogance. Sometimes, the difference is not in what a person says, but in how convincingly they say it.

Chauvinistic charisma is the ability to make dominance look attractive.

The person walks into a room with certainty. They speak without hesitation, take control of conversations, challenge people openly, and rarely appear to question themselves and strangely, we often interpret this as confidence.

Perhaps because certainty is magnetic.

We are naturally drawn to people who appear to know exactly who they are and where they are going, even when that certainty is built upon entitlement rather than competence. The uncomfortable part is that charisma does not necessarily make someone admirable. A person can be charming and condescending.

Confident and insecure. Persuasive and completely wrong.

They can make people feel that following them is easier than challenging them. This becomes particularly interesting when we consider how differently the same behaviour can be perceived depending on who displays it. Assertiveness can be celebrated in one person and criticised as arrogance in another.

Perhaps the real distinction is not confidence versus insecurity. It is confidence without entitlement. True charisma does not require someone else to feel inferior, because the most powerful person in the room is not necessarily the one who dominates everyone else. It may be the one who makes everyone else feel significant.

Thought-provoking reflections on life, identity and relationships, written in the style of a modern-day Socratic journal and told through poetic paradoxes and emotional honesty.

by Paul Strydom.

© Paul Strydom. All rights reserved.

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